


crumbling castles

by amuk



Category: CLAMP - Works, Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: Angst, Developing Relationship, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Hopeful Ending, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:55:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24762706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amuk/pseuds/amuk
Summary: Syaoran wondered if Sakura ever noticed the gaps in her life, the places where he used to fit. Even here, playing in the sun with Kurogane and the rest, he could still find the spaces that used to be his.
Relationships: Daidouji Tomoyo & Kurogane, Fay D. Fluorite & Kurogane, Fay D. Fluorite & Kurogane & Sakura & Syaoran (CLAMP), Fay D. Fluorite & Sakura | Tsubasa, Kurogane & Tomoyo of Nihon Country, Sakura | Tsubasa Clone/Syaoran | Li Tsubasa Clone, Sakura | Tsubasa/Syaoran | Li Tsubasa
Comments: 3
Kudos: 28





	crumbling castles

**Author's Note:**

> For the Feathers Zine, I also got assigned Tsubasa in the Summer, and Tomoyo somehow snuck her way into both of my pieces.
> 
> P.S. There are wayyyy too many tags in this fandom for the same pairing. Ahahhahaha *dies*

Syaoran’s toes sank in the damp sand, the coarse grains sticking to his skin uncomfortably. What a strange sensation. He was used to sand. His homeland was filled with the dry, soft substance that could scrape wounds and erode ruins. Yet there not even the rain could give it this texture; the oppressive heat quickly dissipated any moisture.

That was certainly not the case here. The sun here was comforting, not burning. Shielding his eyes, he stared at the broad sea in front of him. The sharp smell of salt lingered in the air. This world was filled with sand, water, and life. Behind him, an entire forest hummed with creatures. He’d read in books about such locations, such strange places that could be hot without stifling, but it was one thing to read it, another to experience it.

He curled his toes in the sand once more, trying to get used to the feeling.

“It’s nice here, isn’t it?’ Tomoyo said, suddenly appearing next to him with a knowing grin.

Despite all the battles he faced, the fighting instincts he’d honed, Syaoran had to resist the urge to jump. In every world they found Tomoyo, she always had the same level of stealth, the same sly smile when she talked. Calming his racing heart, he nodded. “Yes. You said it’s a.” He paused, remembering the word she used. “A beach, it’s a beach, right?”

“Yes.” Tomoyo gestured at the long, empty stretch of sand before them. “It’s a private one too, so no one will disturb us.”

Private. Somehow, Tomoyo was also insanely wealthy every time they met her and he was starting to wonder if that was just a character trait at this point. Tugging on the drawstrings of his funny shorts, he asked, “And these are water suits?”

“Swimsuits. Trunks in your case,” Tomoyo corrected. She cradled her cheek, looking irrationally pleased with herself. “I just knew the dark blue would look good on you.”

Another character trait—impeccable clothing tastes that occasionally ran on the side of wild. Syaoran ran a hand through his hair. “You already did so much for us: helping us get the feather, giving us a place to stay, protecting us. You didn’t have to do this too.”

“Nonsense.” Tomoyo shook her head firmly. Her long hair swished behind her. “After all you’ve done, you need a break. Besides…” She drew out the last word as she pulled out a camera. A lovestruck expression crossed her face and he could swear her eyes turned into hearts. “I couldn’t miss a chance to capture adorable Sakura at the beach.”

“What’re you talking about?” Kurogane asked, shoving his hands into the pockets of his dark red trunks as he came up next to her. He ducked his head to eye her suspiciously, his overly tall body folding comically. “Don’t tease the kid too much.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Tomoyo answered cheerfully, looking up at him with a mischievous grin. With her free hand, she patted him on the cheek boldly. “Why would I, when you’re such an easy target?”

Kurogane blanched. “Why is that part of you the same?” Despite his words, his tone and expression were fond, his eyes crinkling just so. He didn’t pull away as he grumbled, “You’re all spreading stories to each other.”

Tomoyo just smiled mysteriously in response.

“Daddy!” Fai called out from further down the beach, waving his hand wildly as he squatted on the wet sand next to Sakura. In his other hand was a pail and just in front of the pair was a small sandcastle, with Mokona sitting on top like a regent. “Come, play with the kids.”

Sakura nodded eagerly, holding up her shovel like it was a sword. “The sand here sticks so well!”

Syaoran wondered if she noticed the _here_ tacked on, if her memories included the sandcastles of their youth, the mounds of sand that never retained their shape. If there’d be a blank space next to her, a missing set of hands trying to keep the loose grains in shape.

The bright smile on her face said otherwise. As with all of her memories, he’d been scrubbed clean of them, her mind filling in the gap seamlessly. He ignored the pang in his chest and headed toward her. “It looks good.”

“I told you to stop calling me that!” Kurogane growled, grinding his feet into the sand.

“Oh my.” Tomoyo blinked innocently, looking from one to the other. She clutched the brim of her overly large sunhat. “Is there a divorce pending?”

Fai shook his head. He drew a heart in the air with a finger and blew a kiss. “That’s just how Daddy shows his feelings.”

“Don’t join him,” Kurogane hissed, looking back and forth between them suspiciously. His worst fears were confirmed as the pair exchanged looks and two identical smiles blossomed on their faces: a team-up.

Ignoring him, Tomoyo smiled happily, cradling her cheek with a hand. “He is very shy like that.”

“He truly is,” Fai agreed, slouching forward to sigh. “Mommy sometimes worries.”

“THAT’S IT.” The last stray broken, Kurogane sprinted forward and roared, “THAT JOKE IS ANNOYING!”

Realizing he was in trouble, Fai quickly sprang to his feet and dashed away. “Daddy’s trying to hurt Mommy!” he yelled and for someone so willowy, he was fast. “AND HE WON’T HURT HIS MISTRESS.”

Syaoran could practically see fire shooting out of Kurogane’s mouth now. “SHUT UP!”

“My, my. I feel like I deserve a higher status than mistress.” Tomoyo lifted her camera to capture the moment. “I should send this to the princess.”

Syaoran stared as the duo disappeared into the distance, growing smaller and smaller by the second. By now, he knew better than to interfere. Kurogane wouldn’t seriously maim Fai. Probably. “How long is this beach?”

“Not long enough.” Tomoyo sighed and turned to Syaoran. “That is your que to spend some private time with Sakura.”

That brought him; back to the present and he turned a bright red at the implication from her words. “I-it’s not…I d-don’t…;” He shook his head violently, feeling flustered.

“She’s waiting,” Tomoyo urged, pushing him forward. When he looked back at her hesitantly, she smiled slyly and added, “Unless you want me to steal her away.”

_She’s already stolen,_ he wanted to reply, but now he was standing in front of Sakura and Mokona. They looked at him expectantly. Behind him, he could hear the whirr and click of the camera and with a sigh he sank to his knees. It was a break. He should at least try to have some fun. The castle they’d made was a small one, with a moat and two keeps. Nothing at all like the castle at home. “You did a lot.”

“Fai is an expert.” Sakura patted the side of the castle gratefully. “It would have been just a pile of sand otherwise.”

“Mokana’s helped a lot too!” Mokona waddled over to the water’s edge and opened his mouth wide. Within seconds, he’d vacuumed at least three buckets worth of water. Locking eyes with Syaoran, he waddled back to the moat and expelled the water. Raising a paw proudly, he declared with a wink, “Mokona’s 108 secret techniques: moat-making!”

It was neither a secret nor a technique and he could just hear Kurogane’s trademark _that’s what you always do!_

“It’s very helpful,” Mokona nodded, satisfied with himself.

_How did that help?_ Syaoran kept that thought to himself, his smile forced as he politely clapped his amazement. “Wow.”

Sakura was less reserved, affectionately patting Mokona’s head. The little porkbun leaned into her touch. “That was amazing!”

“Mokona is always amazing,” Mokona replied sagely.

Keeping his doubts to himself, he asked, “Anything left to do?”

Sakura’s eyes sparkled and she reached forward to clasp his hands. “You’re going to help, Syaoran?”

Her hands were warm on his, and he’d been in this situation before, seen that shy, pleading look more times than he could count. The more things changed, the more they stayed the same, and he would spend the rest of his life finding remembrances of their shared past in her actions. It hurt, but he could handle it. He had to handle it.

What he couldn’t take was how she said his name: like he was a stranger, like he meant nothing to her.

But that was the cost of a wish. Gently, he extracted his hand and dug his fingers into the sand. “Of course.” He could still feel her touch.

If she noticed, she didn’t say anything. Tucking a lock behind her ear, she smiled happily. “It’s always more fun when you’re there.”

There was a time when he used to search for double meanings in her words, looking for some hint of her feelings. There was no point to it now. He still found himself looking anyways. Her energy was infectious and despite himself, he couldn’t stop from grinning back in response. “It’s the same for me.”

Her eyes widened. “Really?”

“Yeah.” Syaoran couldn’t lie to her, he didn’t know how. “Really.”

Flushing, Sakura ducked her head. “Great.” The wind ruffled her hair, her bangs covering her face. “Um, so…” She fumbled with the sand, scooping several handfuls to make a mound. “We’re going to add towers.”

That was something he could do. “Gotcha.” Borrowing Fai’s discarded shovel, he quickly dug next to him and created a pile of sand. They worked in silence, building two independent towers, and he tried not to peek at her. It was too easy to slip into his memories, for her adult hands to shrink into a child’s. To remember a heat that burned even in the shade and for her annoyed pout as sand slipped through her fingers, her tower crumbling even before it could stand.

_Syaoran,_ she’d called, ordering him to hold the sand together.

The next time she’d do that in the Clow Kingdom, it wouldn’t be with him.

The next name she called wouldn’t be his.

“Syaoran,” Sakura repeated, jolting him out of his thoughts. She gazed admiringly at the tower he’d built. “I can’t believe you did all that!”

He stared at her blankly for a few seconds, before looking at the sand between his hands. By now, he’d formed a tower similar to the one they used to go star gazing on. “It’s a place I used to visit a lot.”

“You must love it a lot.” This Sakura didn’t recognize the tower, didn’t realize the significance of the place. She gestured at the simple pillar she’d made sadly, frowning deeply. “Mine’s nothing like it.”

“Look at mine!” Mokona tapped lightly on a pillar of sand next to him. It looked like a pain-stacking render of an actual tower, right down to the small niches and footholds visitors must use. Syaoran couldn’t believe his eyes; Mokona had done all of that and yet somehow, his fur was as pristinely white as usual.

“Oh wow, the leaning tower?” Tomoyo finally meandered closer, lifting her eye from the viewfinder to take a look at the sculpture directly. “You are an artist, Mokona.”

“The very best,” Mokona answered, winking.

“Let’s do our best not to lose!” Sakura clenched her fist, nodding her head sternly. “Right Syaoran?”

There it was again. For a brief moment, his name sounded right, just like it used to. It’d been sounding like that more often these days.

He tried not to think too hard about it.

He couldn’t stop thinking about it.


End file.
